The last time I posted, this man was still the leader of our glorious nation.

That can only mean one thing:

CHUNLIKICKED.ME IS BACK IN BUSINESS (not really)!

I honestly feel like I am only motivated to write these reviews/modern art pieces due to life-changing events.

My last review, posted a year and a half ago, was the result of re-encountering a fantasy series from my youth. The book series had a cute girl.

This review is prompted by me taking five minutes to think of a synonym for “improve” while writing my annual performance review for work. There were no cute girls involved.

As for the anime? It’s Eureka Seven. Cute girls definitely involved.

Tony Hawk’s Pro Mecha. I kinda wish they went with more of a EVA/Full Metal Panic type of mecha design, but at least skateboarding mechas are unique I guess.

The first episode of Eureka Seven aired more than ten years ago, on April 17th, 2005. Crude oil was $50 a barrel. Dubya’s War on Terror was in full swing. The Motorola Razr was still on the cutting edge (haha) of cellular technology. Taylor Swift was finishing up with grade 10, her music career yet a twinkle in some record producer’s eye. Kyoto Animation’s Air had just finished, uhh, airing. But I digress.

My first encounter with Eureka Seven was the dubbed version on YTV’s now defunct Bionix programming block, which was targeted towards older teens and featured shows like GitS:SAC and FMA. All dubbed, of course, featuring randomly drawn VAs from a pool of probably less than twenty. But still, with fansubs still in its infancy and torrent aggregator sites still nonexistent (forum downloads and IRC only, please), programming like Bionix was one of the few ways in which sheltered Western children like myself could be exposed to superior Japanese culture. I honestly do not remember much of the odd episodes I watched of E7, save that the grills were beyond qt. the action scenes were nifty, and the (apparently mistaken) notion that the titular character, Eureka, was a tsundere.

And so, when my snobby anime connoisseur friend and occasional collaborator forouhar suggested E7, after my request for a show with character development (50 episodes worth!), cute girls, and explosions…well, lets just say I was intrigued. Coming off the brilliantly animated and draw Tamako Market, in which cute girls do cute things for twelve episodes and one film, it seemed like a good change of pace.

Seven episode of E7 later, I can’t say that I’m disappointed. From what I gather after watching 14% of the show:

Renton the type of nigga to call a girl’s lingerie her unmentionables. For extra comedic value, switch to the English dub because the VA fucking NAILS the whiny, angsty teenager.

E7 is a coming of age story about the young boy Renton, whose hair hasn’t entirely grown in yet ifyouknowwhatImean. He’s an orphan with a mysterious onee-san who may or may not be dead/whereabouts unknown (more on this later). One day, a really cute girl crash lands in his back yard and he goes off with her to join Gekkostate, which is not a self-autonomous society of lizard people but is apparently a group of…friends? freedom fighters? led by the oft-shirtless Holland. Oh, and there are mechas. That transform into cars. And ride skateboards when they fly. And may or may not be sentient beings. And there are cute girls everywhere. Oh, and there’s this no-Waffen SS organization doing…stuff. Unfortunately, I really have no idea what’s going on in this show so far, so there won’t be any criticism of the plot.

HOWEVER! There is a mystery that may or may not be a huge plot point for this show. Namely:

Note that Tits McGee here is not actually Renton’s onee-san. However, her tits are so special that they have a separate Wikipedia page.

Renton’s sister.

She is consistently mentioned at the start of the show, including several flashback moments of Renton’s early childhood, but we know next to nothing about her. Holland keeps a photo of her and Renton, with her face scratched out, and he gazes longingly at the photo (while furiously masturbating off screen) on several occasions. Renton offhandedly mentions that Talho, the girl Holland is currently pursuing, reminds him of his sister. Later on, Renton wonders about Holland’s first love and what she was like. Given the rule of anime universes, all of these connections cannot be simple coincidences. So basically, my theory regarding Renton’s onee-san is as follows:

SHE DED. I will wager $5 CAD and two (2) pieces of nigiri sushi on this hypothesis.

As for the real star of the show…

11/10 QT 3.14159 would treat to a nice dinner at the Keg.

Eureka is amazing. Her voice is amazing. Her violet eyes are amazing. Her aquamarine hair is amazing. Her girlish figure is-oh wait I almost slipped there. To give you an idea of how amazing she is, one of the earlier misunderstandings between Eureka and Renton centers around her three adopted brats/kids, and Renton thinking that they’re Eureka’s biological kids. Despite Eureka being something like 14 years old. But that’s being Renton’s a particularly special brand of retarded. In any case, even if Eureka was a single mother of three, I’d still be okay with it. Because she’s just that amazing.

That wasn’t creepy, was it? It wasn’t. Here’s a picture of a perfectly legal woman to compensate.

“Legal”

In any case, we are now 7 episodes into the journey for Renton to get laid Renton’s quest to save the world, or something. Who knows, maybe by my next post (haha yea right) I’ll actually know what the hell is going on in this show. Hopefully, this time it won’t take us 36 episodes before the MC decides that the experience of falling in love is a suitable substitution to actually getting his dick wet YES I’M STILL SALTY FUCK YOU VERY MUCH HONEY & CLOVER.

Until next time,

Stay Free.