Imagine if this show was set in West Virginia.

Another week brings us another episode of Kaoru being a fucking pussy the best show of the season. While last week sets us up for all of the romance and drama for the remainder of the series, this week is delves a bit deeper into the relationship of our happy foursome.

PLOT AND WENCHES

WHAT A WHORE.

This episode continues where the last one left off. Sentarou is completely lovesick and Kaoru, being the king of the pussies that he is, decides to use this to his advantage by having a double date with Sentarou, Yurika, and Ritsuko. His plan is to have Sentarou so enamoured by Yurika that he won’t get in the way of him and Ritsuko. Little did he know…

Ri-chan you're terrible at hide-and-seek.

Yup, Ritsuko actually likes Sentarou as well. Since the two were childhood friends, the assumption is that Sentarou only saw her as a sister and not a lover. After Kaoru realizes this, he feels bad for making the girl he likes cry.

Not exactly as keikaku eh, Kaoru ol' chum.

The episode ends with Kaoru playing “Someday My Prince Will Come” for Ritsuko, and confessing his love for her. Wait what? It’s only episode three! Why are you confessing now this is crazy. Guess he wasn’t 100% pussy after all.

THOUGHTS AND FEELS (not as many as last time but still a couple feels)

Probably too busy sucking dick.

Let me say this now. Yurika is BAD NEWS, MAN. Sure, she seems nice enough on the outside. But her maturity and worldliness is a tad out-of-touch with the rest of the cast, making her the odd one out. Oh, and there’s the small matter of her taking advantage of Sentarou’s love for her own means…

WHORE OF BABYLON

I think in the above picture she’s supposedly doing something for her painting…or something. But just the way that she moves through the episode, like she’s always privy to the answer of some inside joke that only she knows, just strikes me as a bit off.

D-does that mean I'm the best girl of this show by default? Kyaaa~

It is my sincere belief that Yurika Fukahori will go down in history as one of the bitchiest bitches in the history of Japanese animation. Just a feeling, an inkling of suspicion.

Even the TREES hate you.

Okay, so you know how the name of this show can be translated as “Apollo on the Slope”?  What about the myth of Apollo and Daphne? What if Sentarou’s supposed to be Apollo, and no matter how hard he tries, he can never get the object of his affection to return his love? But if Yurika’s Daphne…why did the tree scratch her? Was it a laurel tree? But those aren’t native to Japan. Does this mean Yurika will be turned into a tree in future episodes? God this show makes no fucking sense.

Also, if this show was remade by Hollywood for American audiences, this song would be the theme song:

Cheers!